Life after 50,  Well-being

Are You Following Your Arrow or Someone Else’s?

The other day I headed out on errands. As I started the Jeep, Kacey Musgraves sang the last chorus of “Follow Your Arrow.”

Kacey Musgraves released the song “Follow Your Arrow” in 2013, and its message has rung true for me ever since. In it, she identifies conflicting ideas that we, as women, are confronted with daily.

How many of these conflicting ideas have you been confronted with:

  • You’re boring if you don’t believe in pre-marital sex, BUT you’re trashy if you do.
  • You’re a prude if you don’t drink, BUT you must be a drunk or alcoholic if you have a drink or two.
  • If you’re obese, you need to lose weight; BUT if you lose too much weight or lose it too fast, you must be on drugs.

There appears to be no middle ground,

but there is a middle ground.

It’s the ground that fits YOU. It’s the path that YOU follow.

We are influenced EVERY day!

Advertisements on television urge you to buy a specific product or join a group/cause or act a certain way. Your friends influence you and make demands on your time. Your parents (no matter what age you are) share their opinion regarding where you live, your career, what you do, and how you behave. Social media and so-called “influencers” on social media also have their ideas about what you should believe, how you should behave, and what your views should be on life.

Sometimes they all mesh together; sometimes they face off and disagree. And this week after the results of the Virginia and New Jersey elections were announced, certain political factions declared that the republican candidate won only because the voters in those states were white supremacists and racists. (I don’t want to get into politics, but both sides need to stop with the name-calling. It does absolutely no good.)

Kacey Musgraves: Follow Your Arrow

What should you do?

There are some social norms, if you will, that you should follow. These are the norms that require you to show civility, respect, and safety for yourself and others. Remember that Golden Rule: Treat others as you want them to treat you. Keeping these social norms in mind allows us to develop healthy relationships. Unfortunately, far too many people believe that their way and their opinion is not only the right way but the only way.

I’d like to challenge you to look at the things you do and don’t do. (NOTE: I used to ask this of my high school students.)

  • Why do you buy certain brands?
  • Why do you shop at specific stores?
  • Why do you participate in activities and groups?
  • Why are you living where you are living?
  • Why did you go into your career or accept the job you have?

The list can go on. The important thing is to determine if you are following your own arrow (making the choice because it fits YOU) OR if you are following the crowd (doing or buying something because everyone else is) AND whether or not YOU are being TRUE to YOURSELF.

Follow Your Arrow by Kacey Musgraves

What about you?

How do you choose to do what you do? Who are the people who influence your decisions? Do you find yourself following trends? Please take a moment to share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.

Until next time . . .

Photo by R. Kojetin & Created with Canva

Before you go . . .

If you would like to receive my newsletter “Coffee and Conversation” in your email, please CLICK HERE to subscribe.

If you would like to comment, but not comment publicly, feel free to email me at

And please consider sharing this post.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *