2018 is racing toward the finish line MUCH TOO FAST, and I really don’t think I’m ready for 2019. How many hours now?
We aren’t celebrating big. We aren’t going anywhere. In fact, I think we might be headed to bed before the clock strikes midnight here. (We’ve had a nasty cold going from person to person in our house.)
I sat down yesterday (Sunday) to look back and reflect on 2018. It feels to me like the year just started, but here it is New Year’s Eve. As the song goes, “Regrets, I’ve had a few..,” but 2019 is waving at me in the near distance.
“Come on! Pick yourself up. Keep moving forward. Learn from your mistakes. Let go of the regrets for you can’t go back and change things.”
“Come on! Plan your year. Chase your dreams. Grab hold of life and live it to the fullest.”
It was a busy year, and sometimes I feel that I accomplished nothing, but my calendar rarely had any open space.
When I paused Sunday to list my accomplishments for the year and evaluate how I spent my time, I’m was amazed. It has been a busy year, but not necessarily a mindfully busy year. I am not necessarily in the same place I was last New Year’s Eve; I’m not as far as I wanted to be, but I’m not in the same place I was.
- My husband and I spent 67 days on the road with the camper and took in four Forest River Owners Group rallies during those days. Thirty-two of those were consecutive days in an experiment to see if it was possible for us to live nearly full time on the road in the camper.
- My husband and I attended two weddings: first, one of my best friends and second, my youngest son.
- I created a personal writer’s retreat and Smokey Mountain exploration for the week that my husband attended Arrowmont School of Arts and Crafts, and in the fall, attended a writers’ conference.
- We, especially my husband, were an important part of the process of my oldest step-daughter gaining full custody of her middle daughter.
- I played violin regularly for a local area assisted living facility, somewhat regularly for our “First Fridays” downtown, and two concerts with the orchestra I am part of.
- We made two trips back to Minnesota: one to visit my husband’s mother and a second to attend the celebration of her life after her passing.
- We attended a local rodeo, a concert at the Grand Ole Opry, and Kenny Chesney.
Wow! I took in a lot.
- I haven’t lived in the present. In other words, I have multi-tasked too many times with “time wasters” on my phone.
- I have plagued myself with too many “What ifs?”
- In working to begin to finally unpack the boxes left in the garage and barn from our move over three years ago, I have created chaos in my house. Instead of working in the garage or barn, the cold and dampness found me pulling the boxes into the house to go through.
- I have had grand ideas but failed to follow through on any of them.
These “regrets” to me equate with failure. I am afraid of success which I learned at a workshop focused on awakening the dreamer in me, and in order to stay away from success, I have not lived fully in the present, I have used “What if?” to stop me, I have left chaos in my wake, and I have not followed through with anything.
If I don’t want to feel like 2019 has flown by, I need to make some drastic changes in how I deal with things.
- I get to organize my life so there is calm and peace in my personal environment. This week is going to be dedicated to move the offending boxes and piles of “stuff” that do not belong in a room into the garage or single space of a room.
- I get to live simply. That means I get to go through a lot of “stuff,” and I get to do a lot of selling and/or donating.
- I get to schedule time to be creative with words, with my camera, with music, with my hands, with my environment, and with my life.
- I get to be mindful (Yes, the seemingly new buzz word.) of our health and my daily activities and my time.
- I get to be fully present in my travels and explorations.
I want to be able to look back at 2019 and see that I have grown as a person and made a positive impact on other people.
What kind of changes are you looking at in your life for 2019? If you are comfortable, share them with me in the comments.
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