Our lesson for today comes from the words in Garth Brooks’ song “The Dance.”
If you had a crystal ball, would you look into it to see what your future will bring? Would you have someone read your palm to tell you what will happen in your life? Would you consult a psychic to see if the love of your life will come into your world? Would you make an appointment with a tarot card reader to find out how rocky or easy your journey in life will be?
I used to find myself saying “I just can’t wait until ___.” – fill in the blank, but I realized recently that as I focused on that event or date, the memorable aspects of the passing days weren’t sticking with me. Sometimes I even found that I would just sit and waste time because what I really wanted it to be the day of the specific event.
I’ve changed my wording. Now I am “looking forward to” an event. By changing that little phrase, I am more able to give each day the attention that it deserves.
If I had known that my first marriage would end in divorce, I probably wouldn’t have declined the dating requests from guys in college, and I probably wouldn’t have waited nine years for my first husband to propose; but I wouldn’t have the two incredible sons I have, and I probably wouldn’t have had some of the experiences I had.
Yes, getting a divorce hurt. Yes, I was crushed. Yes, I became very down on myself because I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong. After a while, however, I learned to like myself, and I realized that I was NOT the cause of my divorce. It was more that my first husband couldn’t accept the fact that I was a growing and changing individual who believed that our children needed guidance, and that if he had decided to co-parent our children our relationship might have grown alongside our children.
I wish I could have missed the hurt and pain of divorce, but if I had known we would divorce after 14 years of marriage and chosen to avoid the hurt and the pain, I would have missed the “dance” we, as a family, shared.