Living a happier life is not an easy task for most of us, myself included. There are days where the weather gets me down. There are days where even my dogs get on my nerves.
So, you might begin by asking me
“Why are you trying to get others to live a happier life?”
Let’s look at it this way. Unhappiness causes stress. Stress makes us ill. Being ill finds us missing work and missing out on things we want to do. Missing work causes stress. Missing out on things makes us unhappy. It’s in some ways a vicious cycle.
#1. IS IT OK IF I AM SAD?
Of course it is acceptable to be sad. There are sad moments in life: death, life changes, and yes, sometimes the weather. You certainly wouldn’t want to go to someone’s funeral with a lilt in your step and a huge smile on your face. (Oh, alright, there might be a person or two you might want to do this to. – sorry, sick humor.)
The fact is that everyone feels sad or down at some time in their lives. Sadness and a down feeling has hit me during my divorce from my first husband, my children graduating high school, my children being old enough to live on their own.
But we have to be careful not to stay in that sadness. We have to find a way to throw the rope over the ray of sunshine and pull ourselves out of the pit of sadness.
I understand that clinical depression is real and that there are several types of depression. It’s just that I wonder if we do enough to teach people at an early age how escape sadness and feeling down in the dumps.
#2. WHY DO PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO BE HAPPY FEEL FAKE?
Think of the athlete who practices and practices and practices. Then, although he or she is supposed to be the best in that sport, that athlete botches the possibility of winning the gold medal.
There is a thing as too much trying and too much trying too late. And when people try too hard and too late, it comes across as fake.
In order to come across as sincerely happy, you need to do a little every day. In addition to that, the more you profess to others that you are happy, the more fake you appear. To come across as sincerely happy, do not try to tell people how happy your are over and over.
Find other ways that work for you to show people your happier lifestyle. Find ways to do things that show your happiness.
#3. IF HAPPINESS ISN’T EXTERNAL, WHY DO I FEEL HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING NICE FOR ME?
True happiness comes from within, but that doesn’t mean the actions of others doesn’t bring us happiness. The problem isn’t that other people can bring us happiness – the problem is when we EXPECT others to bring us happiness, especially when we don’t tell them what would make us happy.